We know our son is going to have problems when he is born. He's going to have the Cleft, either lip or lip and pallet (most likely both). There is a hospital in Virginia that actually does all of the surgery quickly after birth vs. waiting to do them over the course of a couple of years. I would like to go there and have it done simply because I'd rather have the risk of one surgery vs. 3+. Also babies are constantly growing and are very resilient. Not 100% sure, but it's what I'd rather do, even if there is an extra cost. I want to do what is best and least stressful on my child.
As I mentioned in my catching up about my next child. We have had a lot of ups and downs with this pregnancy, from my wife's health to the recent discovery that my son will have a Cleft lip and Palette. The cleft is a bi-lateral cleft which is the rarest form, and affect both sides of his lip, and with that there is about an 85% chance he has the palette as well. And one of the ultrasounds was pretty evident of that.
I'm a stats person so I live by numbers. The chance of getting the birth defect is .018% (no not 1.8% it's .018%). So the chances of a nurse having experience with it are minimal, but fortunately we have Primary Children's in Utah that are some of the best. With my wonderful wife, we've been studying what to expect.
1. 3.9 surgeries in the first 5 years. They will start at about 10 months
2. 66 Dr. appointments in the first 5 years.
3. 15% mortality rate in the first year because of other issues that might stem from this.
So what does it mean? Stress. Lots of it. The bottles cost $16 a piece and then last 15 feedings. Feeding the baby will be unique cause he won't be able to suckle.
But good news it's a boy, and yes we already have the name picked out :P
So I've been pretty quite lately, mostly because I didn't have much I wanted to say in public. But here are a few quick things to catch people up.
Rule #1: Life kicks you when you're down
Rule #2: Understand rule #1 and recover.
Car I've had since '94 a '95 Nissan Maxima broke down
It was the day after we discovered a purchase on EBay for kids furniture is going sour, the person dropped off the face of the earth, but when we bought they had 99%+ feedback and are now at 98.1% and "No longer registered" on ebay.
This followed finding out that our child has a bi-lateral cleft lip and more than likely a cleft pallet which will require several surgery's starting at 10 months going to 8-9 years.
I've been working all weekend on a project so I've missed my girls a lot. I like to spend most of my Saturday with them, but I couldn't. I was on the phone with my wife and my youngest wanted to talk to me. So she asked me, "You coming home?", in the most adorable toddler voice. I sadly had to tell her, no I was working. She then started to cry and tell me she wanted me home. It nearly broke my heart.
On Sunday I had to go into work and my oldest was playing an "Incredibles" game. She had just passed the part where Mr. Incredible was in his blue outfit and switched into his red one. And she made the comment, his not as big as he use to be. I said, "He's not as fluffy as he was". She looked at me and said, "No he was fat just like you".
Boy if kids don't say em like they see em. As hurt as I was, I was laughing as well cause it was so cute and so innocent. Kids, you have to love them!
The other day I decided I would get my hearing checked. For a couple of reasons. First, I have had a horrible ringing in my ears for many many years. Second, my wife will hear things and look at me and say "Can't you hear that?" The going joke with her is she'll look at me now and just say "of course not it's that one pitch". Third, sometimes I think I miss things. And finally going along with #2 my wife keeps telling me I'm def.
So I get the test done and sure enough I do have hearing loss. They said it's nothing to really worry about, I'm not def, but I do have a lose in the higher ranges. Which isn't surprising since the high pitch that is in my ears all the time is in the higher range. So go figure.... They also said, "You are a candidate for a hearing aid, but I wouldn't strongly recommend it". I took that as you could hear better, but you're not hearing that bad right now to worry, so come back later.
So I'll wait.
More Ears. That night my daughter had a bad ear ache and we put cotton in it etc. etc. and when we took it out later it looked like it had blood on it. So we went into lets get her checked ASAP mode. My in-laws came over quickly so my wife and I could both go with Gena to the Doctor. We get to an urgent care about 8:00 PM and she gets in pretty quick. The Dr. looks in her ears and says they need to be flushed.
If you have EVER had your ears flushed you know it sucks, feels weird etc. Now imagine your ear already hurts. So my sweet daughter gets the drops to loosen the junk in her ear and sits there for a few minutes. A nurse comes in and proceeds to flush her ear. A LOT of stuff comes out including a really big piece of wax. At this point my daughter is upset, and I mean irately upset. And the nurse says there's more. She tries again and my daughters had enough of it. I ask to just put more drops in and the nurse finally complied. I figured it'll loosen what's in there up. We convince my daughter and talk her up to let the nurse do it again, but that was not going to happen any time soon, she wouldn't even let them look in her ear. Finally with her on my lap hugging me, a different nurse looked in her ear and said she could see the ear drum, so the Dr. could look again.
Her ear is infected and the drum is bulging. The Dr. said he wouldn't be surprised if the ear drum didn't rupture. So we internally freak out as parents until the Dr. said it would actually probably make her feel better and he then explained that it would heal. So we felt relieved. My daughter went home and we let her sleep in our bed last night. Lucky for me, it was just her and I, and she woke up several times just screaming, "Get Away From Me, Get outta here". She was still asleep yelling at the Dr. and Nurses. Today she also threw up, but we aren't sure why. But she's my girl and I'm getting ready to go spoil her.
She'll recover, she always does, but once again she's really learning to hate Doctors. I hope she gets over that and later realizes how beneficial they are, vs. how bad.
I wish I could say this story was about me, or something I was a part of, but it's not. It's a wonderful true story about a truly wonderful man and his son. It's about believing and loving, about caring and simply being. Read the story and watch the video:
[From Sports Illustrated, By Rick Reilly]
I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay For their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots.
But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.
Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in Marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a Wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and Pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day.
Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back Mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. On a bike. Makes Taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?
And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life.
This love story began in Winchester , Mass. , 43 years ago, when Rick Was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him Brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.
\"He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;'' Dick says doctors told him And his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. ``Put him in an Institution.''
But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes Followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the Engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was Anything to help the boy communicate. ``No way,'' Dick says he was told. ``There's nothing going on in his brain.''
\"Tell him a joke,'' Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a Lot was going on in his brain. Rigged up with a computer that allowed Him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his Head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? ``Go Bruins!'' And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the School organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, ``Dad, I want To do that.''
Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described ``porker'' who never ran More than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he Tried. ``Then it was me who was handicapped,'' Dick says. ``I was sore For two weeks.''
That day changed Rick's life. ``Dad,'' he typed, ``when we were running, It felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!''
And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly Shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.
``No way,'' Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a Single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few Years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then They found a way to get into the race Officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the Qualifying time for Boston the following year.
Then somebody said, ``Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?''
How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he Was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick Tried.
Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii . It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud Getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you Think?
Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? ``No way,'' he says. Dick does it purely for ``the awesome feeling'' he gets seeing Rick with A cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.
This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best Time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world Record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to Be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the Time.
``No question about it,'' Rick types. ``My dad is the Father of the Century.''
And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a Mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries Was 95% clogged. ``If you hadn't been in such great shape,'' One doctor told him, ``you probably would've died 15 years ago.'' So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.
Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass. , always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.
That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.
``The thing I'd most like,'' Rick types, ``is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once.''
After two years my brother's come to visit from Texas. He went to Chicago first to visit my mom and sister then he flew out to Utah to visit my family. He has never seen my 20 month old, so I was excited for him to see here. One concern was that my oldest daughter woud be afraid of him.
He was always there for her when she was young, and when he use to come to our house in Texas he would pass everyone until he saw Gena. We would go out sometimes and he'd come over and stay at the house while we went out, after she went to bed. They had a great relationship and they always played together. But that was two years ago. So I was worried about her reaction to him.
So the weeks before we reminded Gena of all the things they use to do together, how she would crawl all over him and tey always played etc. So the big day came on Thursday. When he showed up she was "shy" of him and hid behind me... but that lasted about 20 minutes. After a while I see Dennis and Gena having what could only be called a "pillow fight", i.e. he was tapping her head with a pillow and she was throwing it back at him. Then she piled all the coushins from the couch on him and burried him. Then my youngest started to loo into the pillows to see who was hiding, and she found her uncle. Now I have the two kids loving their uncle so that was good.
Next couple of days I watch Gena "CLING" to her uncle. She asks him to put her to bed, asks him to play with him. They sit down and play world of warcraft together. And now she knows uncle is leaving and she cries, cause she doesn't want him to leave. I'm so sad and happy all at once.
So today is my bday, I'm turning 25 for the 10th time. Last night we went out to celebrate my bday. Sadly my wife tried to get dinner reservations but the place calls up 2 hours a head of time and says sorry we over booked. So her and I end up at the same place we went last year, but this is no way a bad thing, it's a great steak house and you pay for it! So the dinner rocked, and of course I'm with my wife (no kids) so it was even better.
So I knew we were going to have dinner, and some other surprise, and she scared me on our way to the resturaunt when she said, "I've never been to one of them before"... ONE OF THEM??? WTF!?! So I'm getting scared... but at dinner she spilled it, she bought tickets to a Monster Truck Ralley. And I had never been to one either, so yeah I was pretty excited. Granted it's one of the most redneck things I'd ever been too, heck the guy in front of us had a mullet. I had a great time, and well my wife ROCKS! Cause honestly I would have never thought to go to one of those, but I had a complete blast!
I'm talking about my 19 month old here. I'm sitting at the table with my notebook and she's literally running back and forth. Nothing to accomplish, just running back and forth. It's adorable and confusing all at the same time. Now she took oat meal out of the pantry and opened it up and she's eating it uncooked. Not sure if that's good for her or not, but heck horses eat it.
So, people always want "personal stuff" so here is some reality about my life. My youngest (the one I have the picture of on the nebulizer), goes in for her 18 month check up. Her height and weight are in like the 60%, but her head is off the chart. She's always had a large noggin since she was born, last time she was 97%, but now it's extreme. The Dr. is concerned, which in turn makes us concerned. Is it hydrocephalus? Well the Dr. isn't too concerned since she is acting normal. But the two days after the appointment the kids throws-up which is one of the signs. So it freak me and my wife out. But she seems ok now, but now she's just got a cold or allergies. Kids, they are worth every second, but scare you every minute.
Saturday Morning, the whole family actually got up together. Usually my wife or I sleep in a little bit while the other wrangles with the kids. But this morning there was snow on the ground, so after I let the dog out, I go to our room (where the wife is trying to sleep while the 2 kids jump on the bed), and announce "Hey Come here it's snowing!" Sure enough Gena (4 year old) comes running, which has a domino effect on her sister who come rambling along. Then the wife followed shortly after. A very nice morning as we all gazed out at the snow, and it put us in a Christmas mood. Then it happened. My wife whispers someting in Gena's ear, and she walked over to me with the cutest look on her face. "Daddy will you make pancakes". So I did. First time in a while we sat together for breakfast, but it was a good morning
After that we started to put up decorations, garland on the banister, flowers around the entertainment center, and the I moved the couch in the front room (again), so we could put up our tree. It's SO nice to be in our own house for Christmas, it just feels more "special" if you know what I mean.
I'm really looking forward to Christmas morning with our kids. I'm sure it will be something really special!
My 4 year old thinks 5:00 AM is a great time to wake the ENTIRE house up. She currently shares a room with her 1 year old sister so the 1 year old is in her crib crying, she runs into mommy and daddy's room yelling that her sister is hungry. We know darn well if she'd been allowed to sleep she'd be out like a light. I tend to go to be around 1 or 2 AM depending on stuff for evo-dev. So I wake up CRANKY at 5. It's good to have kids though, I love em, but man do I hate their energy sometimes.
Today I'm sitting there watching my 15 month old. And she goes up to the dog and just starts to smack it (not too hard she's only 15months). So I tell her "gentle" and she understands and starts to pet the dog. Then the Adessa decides to go away and the dog goes after her... So Adessa just starts to run her little 15 month old legs off. So here I am watching my little girl run as fast as she can, and I can could think about is that she looked like she was running on a treadmill, legs just going 1000 miles an hour and not making progress. But Darwin wasn't going "After her", the kid just thought she was. Once the kid looks back and sees that the dog went to drink water she goes over to pet her again... Rinse and repeat.
I don't know what's more interesting watching my two kids together or watching my dog with my kids. If I call the dog, she comes running, if my four year old calls the dog, it's like she didn't even exist. But get the dog started and she quickly puts the kids in their place cause they cannot out run her.
So yesterday we celebrated my daughters 4th birthday. With it being close to holloween my wife decided to decorate it with spiderwebs, eyeball punch, jack-o-lanterns and skeletons. My job was to distract the kid while they decorated. So we went to GG's (Great Grandmother). First the kids were HORRIBLE, we get there and my 3.99 year old and my 1.3 year old are screaming and crying. So this makes GG feel horrible, but finally they calm down, and it ended up on a good note.
Then the call comes... "Were ready". Well I'm abou 30 minutes away, so get the oldest to go to the bathroom (what a chore, who would have thought it would be so hard to get ANYTHING to go to the bathroom. I mean it's a battle of wills). Then we head home, get two "where are you" calls on my way. I'M in Mexico, I just thought I'd take a detour... I'll get there when I get there YEEESH :P
My daughter see's the spiderwebs out side on the porch and ghosts in the trees, and a big yellow 'X' on the door. "Daddy Look at the X". "Hunny it says 'Danger Haunted Area'". Talk about something STUPID to say to a 3.99 year old (she actually turns 4 on the 28th). Great now she stops, "Why is it haunted?"... great, now I do the whole, it's just decorations. So we get ready to come in... no I need to tell you my daughter INFORMED us everyone was supposed to yell "SURPRISE" for her... guess she doesn't get that concept yet. *shrug*
Well needless to say the house was decked out, a huge spider above the table, spiderwebs everywhere, balloons the whole 9 yards. My wife and her family did a great job, and it was a very memorable night. I think my daughter loved everything, her art kits from her aunt (and family) in Chicago, her clothes, her stickers, her bike, and honestly just having her family near her. I can't wait till she turns 5.
So in our house we have a porch and around it is a hand rail. The builder was going to paint it, but we have the nice natural wood columns, and painting them would have just destroyed the look. So we left them. The other day I bought my waterproofer (cedar toner), and it was too orange. So I bought Clear. Wouldn't you think if it said Clear you'd open it up and it would be clear. Well to my surprise it's still brown with a slight tinge of Orange. But after you put it on and it drys it looks great.
I wanted to take this time to simply say that it looks awesome. It's not done yet, but the rail up the stairs looks great. The best part about it, is Monday night my in-laws pop over. Why? To help with the staining. My father-in-law is a wonderful man, he went right too it even though, I had just finished cooking dinner, and still needed to eat. He didn't care, he just did it. What a great example of service he is to me.
We bought an entertainment center for them the other week, but how can I truly every re-pay them for letting us stay with them for almost 2 years, and then they come to do things like this. So if they read this, thanks for everything.
So yesterday I got the great news that Teri's dogs were found, a little skinny, but still kicking. And today I get a call from my Father-in-law saying that they police had recovered his stolen car. It had been missing for about 2 or 3 weeks, so it was a great relief. Odd thing this is the 2nd time it's been stolen in as many months. Stranger thing... it's a 1992 Saturn SL1. Now why would you steal it? No idea.
But what was learned from this? A couple of things.
1. People will steal anything
2. Park your car in a garage CLEAN it out!
The other evening, we had to bring my youngest into the hospital cause she was having issues breathing. She is only 15 months old, and had just gotten over pneumonia from 3 weeks prior. She was having problems breathing so we called up my father-in-law to watch our oldest (thank God for family). We take the forty minute drive to the hospital and get to see the doctor pretty quickly since breathing issues is a higher priority than most others.
I think it's a great thing that the hosptial does NOT take people in the order they arrive, but in the order of severity. As things like heart issues, breathing, broken limbs should definately have a higher priority than a runny nose.
They listen to my daughter here her wheezying and then give her a nebulizer treatment. She still has some problems, so they x-ray her to make sure it is not pneumonia (which it wasn't). So sadly we are facing the fact that our 1 year old has asthma and may have it for the rest of her life.
We are also give a steroid for her to help with the inflammation in her lungs, only side effect it might stunt her growth. Now that is a horrible thing for a 1 year old, so I know my wife and I would prefer to only give her it when it's needed vs. as a preventative.
Now we give her an inhailer with a little mask, and what makes me so sad, is we take it out and she'll walk up to it and place her face on it. It's a sad thing to see a 1 year old use to something like this already
